I Heart Online Dating

My dear readers, you may remember that last night I finally met up with my operatic poser. We sat down and got glasses of water. I sipped mine and he started asking me questions about my day. No way mister. We’re getting straight to the interrogation.
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Tags: honesty, opera, profiles, singlesnet

I’m a little confused. Isn’t part of being a swinger being open about yourself and your sexuality? That’s why I’m a little confused. Last time I blogged about my interlude with my new lover; I said I’d tell you more about him. But it turns out he doesn’t want me to… Read the rest of this entry →

Tags: adultfriendfinder, evian, honesty, profiles

I’m not a detective (see the fact that I failed to detect a barista’s straightness). But last night I got a message from someone who was more than a little suspicious. The message was fine- cute, funny, all that. But then I looked at the person’s profile (fyi, I rate the picture a 7.6). On their profile, they had some interesting…interests… Read the rest of this entry →

Tags: 7.6, B3, gay dating, jaccuse, profiles, singlesnet

Didn’t mention one thing. When I was eHarmony messaged yesterday, there was a reason she talked to me. For one thing, I had this link in my profile. A little obvious, I know. But I love the guy- even a pro doesn’t have to be ashamed of that. And apparently that interested this woman. She wrote a short message:

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Tags: eharmony, frank lloyd wright, honesty, profiles

You may remember I had a profile picture issue. Well, I decided to go with my lovely friend Victoria instead of visiting the Republic. Even when Banana Republic tries to look sexy, they end up looking wayyy too serious. Well, I made the right choice- when I woke up this morning, I already had five messages.

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Tags: adultfriendfinder, lingerie, messages, profiles

Looking Good- And Letting Everyone Know It

So- you want to have a great profile pic? You need one that shows how sexy, cute, hot, cool and, oh yes, attractive, you really are. But how do you do it? How do you take a picture that has that special photographic allure? You need a pic so good that film isn’t the only thing that develops- if you look good enough, a relationship will develop too.

One Part of Your Profile

Tips for creating a great online dating profile picture are important. But it’s also important to remember that the picture is only a part of the whole. Your entire profile needs to be stellar enough to capture the wonderful things about your personality (check out tips for writing a great online dating profile). The picture matters, but just like in real life, personality counts for a lot too.

Personality in Your Picture

That’s one of the reasons that showing your personality in your picture is so important. Your picture doesn’t just show what you look like- it helps people find out who you are.

Sadly, there are a few mistakes people make when choosing a profile picture. Be careful not to make them yourself.

1. The Myspace Picture- Ever seen a picture of someone pointing a camera at their mirror? It’s become a cliche and, for good reason, you should pass. You should pick a picture of yourself out with other people, having fun. You’re a fun person- let your future date know!
2. The Zoolander Pose- Think you’ve got the Blue Steel pout perfected? Well, save it for the runway. We all think a serious picture looks cool. But looking happy is sexier. Your dates want to see a happy, outgoing person, not a diva. It’s time to smile.
3. The Blurry, Dark, Too Mysterious Pic- Be proud of your picture! People clicked on it- they want to know who you are. Choose a well lit shot that shows off your best features (even if it reveals other ones you don’t love as much). Online dating is best if it’s honest. That’s more fun too.

Fixing Your Picture Up

Sometimes, you’ll have the perfect picture- except for one flaw. Bad lighting. A weird size. Red eye. We’ve compiled a list of easy to use online editors that will help you make your profile picture perfect.

Picnik- This site has a robust photo editing tool that lets you go to town on your photos.

Phixr- Another great choice.

MyPictr- This site doesn’t kill red eye or lighten photos. But it does crop your pictures to the perfect, profile friendly size.

Don’t Blink- It’s Time To Take That Photo

Now that you have a few tips for creating the perfect online dating profile picture, there’s only one thing to do. Take it! Grab the perfect shot, upload it, and wait for the photographic magic. If you do it right, your picture will shine as brightly as you do every day.

Tags: online dating tips, profile pictures, profiles

Flirting With a Click

While you’re browsing you see the perfect profile- this person looks great, seems funny and interesting, and is open to meeting new people. The big question: What do you do now? We’ve had years to practice flirting in the real world, but online you can’t touch your hair or gently brush your crush’s arm. Fortunately, there are ways to flirt before your first date- so get ready to click your way to flirtation.

Putting Yourself Out There

Flirting is always about showing confidence- it helps other people realize what an attractive person you are. Online, that means that taking the first step is crucial. Starting the conversation with an attractive person is the only way to get their attention. Flirting online takes guts- we admit it. But once you get started, it gets easier from there.

Choosing the First Message

Usually there are two ways you can reach out to potential dates- winking or messaging.

Most online dating sites provide a form of contact like “winking” (though it may have different names on different sites). What does a wink do? Simple- it draws attention to you. If you wink at someone, they’ll look at your profile, explore, and decide what to do next. Positively, it’s an easy way to interact and puts the pressure of the next step onto the other person. However, it also means that your profile has to speak for itself.

Messaging is the other way you can open contact. It takes a little more skill to come up with a good opening line, but it also starts a conversation. The key to a good message? Keep it light. Comment on a funny quirk in a person’s profile, riff on a favorite quote, or even tell them about the expression in their picture. Because you don’t know the person yet, it’s key to show that you’re funny, smart, and easy to talk to.

Taking it Further: Getting to a First Date

Each online dating service has different ways to contact members (check out our online dating reviews to read details). You can usually message and chat, and occasionally you can even video chat with a potential date.

Here are the ABCs of keeping a conversation flowing:

• Always be asking. This is a new person- you should be asking them interesting, relevant questions about who they are and what they’re passionate about. They’ll love that you’re interested and, honestly, who doesn’t like talking about themselves?
• Bring a lot to the table. This is your chance to sell yourself- so do it. You have a lot to offer, and if a point in the conversation lets you mention your cool hobby, great job, or sexy hair, then go ahead and speak up! Of course, you want the transition to be natural. But a little self-promotion can go a long way.
• Confidence is cool. Confidence doesn’t mean bragging or being arrogant- it means having a conversation without worrying about what people might think about you. Don’t dwell on yourself- ask what you want, be ready to laugh, and open up when it’s appropriate. There’s nothing more attractive than someone who is confident enough not to care how they look.

Now Start Clicking

Flirting online is an art form- it will take a little practice for you to perfect your digital hair-toss and electronic smile. But once you do, you’ll find out that the person with the perfect profile will be eager to flirt back.

Tags: confidence, flirting, love, online dating tips, profiles

Putting Your Best Face To The World

So- imagine you’re getting ready for a date. What do you do? If you’re like most people, you worry a little, pick out your best outfit, double-check your hair, and look as hot as you can. Well, with online dating you do the same thing as soon as you write your profile. You’re presenting yourself to the world.

Your profile should be as honest as possible. But just as you can gel your hair and wear colors that flatter those beautiful eyes of yours (we’ve heard about them), you can also dress up your online profile to put yourself in the best possible light. That’s where a few good tips can help make your profile shine.

The Profile Picture- Say Cheese- and Make Sure To Smile

You may think that the profile picture you choose is one of the most important things about your profile.

Well, you’re right. It’s the first thing people will see and, like it or not, that will affect how they think about you. Fortunately, it’s not what you look like that matters as much as how you look- what image do you present?

Stay away from solo pictures pointing a camera at the mirror. Try to find one of yourself in a group so your potential date knows that you’re a popular, fun loving person. And save the dramatics for that upcoming Oscar campaign. Everybody assumes that a serious expression is sexy. But you know what’s really attractive? Looking happy. Plaster a big smile on your profile picture. People looking at it will want to hang out with a person as happy as you (You can read a full list of tips for creating a great online dating profile picture here).

About Me- Summing Up Yourself

Ready to sum up your entire life, outlook, and dreams in a short paragraph? We didn’t think you were. The good news is that you don’t have to.

If you were at a bar, would you immediately open with a line about how you want to have kids once you find your soulmate? Of course not. First, you take a little time to flirt. That doesn’t mean you have to hide who you are. But look at the difference between these two online dating descriptions.

About Me 1: I’m looking to find a person who will understand me. I’m tired of long, lonely nights and yearn to have someone to call my lover. If that is you, then we should meet and explore each other.

About Me 2: I like putting too much peanut butter on my toast and licking the knife. When I’m not keeping my kids safe, I’m acting like one. I want somebody to teach me how to skateboard (Marty McFly, call me ASAP).

See the difference between 1 and 2? The first person seems sensitive and sensual- that’s cool. But they also ask for a lot from a first meeting. Person 2 presents a more fun and engaging persona, and they even provide openings for conversation. Their profile is still honest (they bring up their children immediately), but it’s far more flirtatious and open. That means it will get a better response.

Honesty Really Is The Best Policy

You’ll have lots of opportunities to express yourself in your profile. It’s great to have that much space to flirt and reach out to potential partners. It’s also tempting to tell the occasional white lie. However, just like with online dating questionnaires, it’s a smarter (and sexier) move to tell the truth.

You may want to change certain facts about your body type, age, preferences, or habits. But be honest- you want to get a date, meet a person, and form a real relationship. Lying just isn’t a good foundation. That’s not saying that you have to volunteer everything about yourself. Just like in a public situation, you have the right to hold back. Want to keep your body type a secret? Then don’t respond. Most dating sites give you the option to only give out the information you want to.

Naturally, the more info the better. But if you think that divulging lots of facts might upset that delicate balance between honesty and TMI (too much information!), then it’s fine to err on the side of caution.

Finishing Up- The Good News About Profiles

Each online dating site has different ways of matching people up, and each one has slightly different profiles. But, overall, they have surprisingly similar approaches. You should be consistent too- show people an exciting and engaging personality, and you’ll get lots of new friends who are happy to flirt.

And that’s where the good news comes in. Being honest is a good thing! You’re an interesting and fun person to be around, and we’re guessing you’re pretty smart too (after all, you read through this article). Being confident in your profile gives you a great way to express yourself and meet new people who will appreciate what you’re like.

Now it’s time to get ready for that date!

Tags: advice, background checks, honesty, online dating tips, profiles