I Heart Online Dating » Match

Choices A Single- And Dating- Mom Has To Make

Kate And Kids — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 20:13:54 +0000

After James wrote me to propose a date with the kids, I had a tough decision to make. Would I agree to it? Or would I tell him I wanted to wait? I want my children to have fun, but it’s also important for me to provide them with stability. I just don’t know how long James will last.

I wrote him back this morning.

James, I’m afraid that this weekend finds us very busy! But I would love to have coffee at some point in the future. Or if you are available for a phone chat, that would be nice too. ~Kate

I sent the message. It’s hard to believe that it was only a little bit ago that I had my first Match date, and now I have to make big decisions about how I’ll date and treat my kids. The only reason I don’t mind is that I know that though these are big decisions, they are ones I am making for our own good.

Tags: dating, decisions, james, kids, match

Friday Returns- And So Does James

Kate And Kids — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 18:52:20 +0000

During all the hubbub about Kurt, I forgot about James! Well, he wouldn’t let me forget about him for long. Today I logged into Match and had a new message from him. I looked at his picture quickly and then I started reading.

Plans this weekend? I’m taking Michael to a game on Sunday. Would you and your kids want to come along? ~James

Now I don’t know what to do. A few days ago, I wasn’t even to admit that I had two children. Now they’re coming with me on dates?! I don’t think I can move this quickly. Maybe I can. But I’m starting to get worried. I may have to reply to James that, for this weekend, it will be just me and the kids hanging out around Chicago.

Finding a relationship is important to me, but I don’t want to compromise the best ones I already have.

Tags: james, kids, kurt, match, weekend

Tangoing With Kurt

Kate And Kids — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 18:43:58 +0000

Things are moving so quickly! Today I wrote back Kurt, my online dating dance partner. And I didn’t mention James. I know that I should be more mature about these things. People go on so many dates, these days, that one date with James isn’t a big deal. But it feels that way since I’ve had so few in the past few years. But I still sat down to my keyboard and logged into Match.

Dear Kurt,

Thank you for contacting me. I haven’t been dancing in years, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it. Wearing a dress, shoes, being close. It sounds nice and I miss it. What do you dance?

I still can’t believe I signed it “K”. Fortunately, he should know by now that I have kids. So my online flirtation isn’t misleading. But it’s still a lot of fun!

Tags: dancing, match

Another Note? Juggling My Suitors….

Kate And Kids — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 20:36:30 +0000

I don’t believe it. Here I hadn’t had a date in a few years (being a full time mom), and after my date with James, something very interesting has happened. It happened right after my phone call with him last night…

I logged into Match before going to bed and saw it. 1 new message. I clicked to his profile before even looking at the message. He looked a little older but had a kind smile and a funny quote that he listed. Then I read the message.

Hi Kate- I saw that you’re interested in dancing. So am I. I have learned a variety of different styles, and my favorite is the tango. Do you dance often?

Do I? I wish! I haven’t been able to find someone in years who would take me dancing. Now I have a balancing act. I have James. But I think I’m going to write this new person, Kurt, back and see what happens.

Tags: dancing, james, kurt, match

Sometimes, Waiting Out A Problem Works

Kate And Kids — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:12:55 +0000

James and I have been very lucky. Or at least I have! I was worried about when to call my date (if you think I was acting like a teenager, then don’t worry. I was just as embarassed!). Well, last night, James called me. His son just went to sleep, so he decided he’d see if I was awake. Fortunately, I was. I made some chai and sat down to get to know him a little better.

It was interesting. I can’t say that there were instant sparks. He has some different political views than I do, and I think that he also has a different relationship with his ex (probably a more healthy one!). But it was still good to know him a little better. Like me, he hates having to compromise raising his children for the sake of his career. So he doesn’t. That’s a real plus, in my opinion!

We stopped short of planning another date, but he mentioned ice skating a few times. Yikes! Does Match.com have a space in the profile to say that you have terrible balance? But I’m willing to try. Millennium Park is beautiful, and near work, so we may be going here in the future. I’ll make sure to wear a helmet on the ice!

Tags: ice skating, james, kids, match, nervous, plans

Fresh Love Notes: Online Dating News

The Brain — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:42:51 +0000

Sometimes Match is too good at what it does- after all, each time someone falls in love, it loses a customer.
A couple that met on Singlesnet gets married on February 29th. Benefits? He only has to remember her anniversary once every four years.
A daughter celebrates her dad’s one year anniversary of finding love online.
eHarmony puts out a solid guide to going on your first trip as a couple.

Tags: eharmony, leap year, married, match, online dating news, singlesnet, vacation

How Long Should I Wait to Write Back?

Kate And Kids — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 20:09:58 +0000

When I was a girl, we learned etiquette. We made sure to have good posture, a bright smile, and always say please and thank you. I’ve tried to teach my children the same thing. But one thing I don’t know about etiquette is how to behave well online- when should I reply to James’ last message?This is the tricky thing about Match. We exchanged phone numbers, but only messaged through Match. So should I call him? Or should I message using Match? One seems a little too intimate and the other seems too distant. Then I also have to consider the fact that I rarely have time to prattle on the phone. I’m not a teenager! I have to pick up the kids and, worst of all, make my commute every day.

I thought I was going to write James back yesterday, but I didn’t. Should I now? I wish I had a good girlfriend to ask these questions. I might ask one of my coworkers to lunch today. She seems on top of things. I’ll tell you her advice (I hope it’s that I should write him back soon!).

Tags: etiquette, james, match, messages

I Took The Plunge!

Tara in the City — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 22:54:37 +0000

I know what you’re thinking- I’m a wimp for not immediately writing Pete back about our date. Well, you’re right. Today I took another OKCupid test (addiction index: equivalent of coffee). The test said that I have a serious problem with pulling the trigger. So today I decided to be a power girl and ask out my new find…

I did it at the Astor Place Starbucks (this video shows the Starbucks being exorcised by the Church of Stop Shopping. As a marketer who only speaks in “Venti”, I think it’s a decent ironic link). Anyway, I hooked up my laptop and cruised for a good wi-fi connection. It’s hard sometimes! Some kids were being loud in back of me, but I was focused. I started writing.

Hey-Chinatown Ice Cream floats my boat. Let’s go sometime after work. They have flavors you can’t make up.

And then I pressed send. Simple as that! But even though it didn’t take long, it felt damn good. I’m on my way to taking the plunge, pulling the trigger, biting the bullet, and every other metaphor you can imagine. I like it.

Tags: chinatown, match, okcupid, starbucks, trigger

We Won The Soccer Game

Kate And Kids — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 18:42:39 +0000

My son’s team won! Yesterday, I had to dash away from my date in order to get to the field on time (I should mention he plays indoor soccer, of course- it would be too cold for anything else!). Once I got there, the second half had already started. He plays fullback, so he doesn’t get up front very much. But he had a few amazing kicks!Still, the whole time I couldn’t help but think about my date. I don’t even know what I think about James yet. He seemed nice, but to be honest, it’s all a blur. I’m just remembering the fun we had, and how nice it was to be a grown up, if only for a bit.

I’ll make sure to message him today. And I can tell him that our team won! I think that’s always a good sign.

Tags: james, kids, match, soccer games

My Match’s Secret

Kate And Kids — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 20:27:54 +0000

I finally met my Match suitor! I was worried about dating with kids, but he told me something very interesting. Before we went out to have a cup of coffee, I didn’t drop the bomb. But after five minutes, I was glad I waited. James sat across from me and, very matter of factly, said that he’d been keeping a secret too. Guess what it was?He has a seven year old son! My son is nine and my daughter is seven! I couldn’t believe it. I asked him why he didn’t mention it in his profile and, like me, he was a little worried that other Match people would discriminate. We had a great laugh over that- his eyes turn bright green when he laughs.

Since that happened, I’ve decided to be totally honest when it comes to the things I put in my profile. Lying online is easy to do, but you end up cheating yourself. I think my Match.com partners will be stronger and closer if I just tell the truth.

But this time, I lucked out! I had a tight time deadline to get to my son’s soccer game. But when we parted, we both hugged. It felt good- better than I thought it could.

Tags: happy, honesty, james, kids, lying online, match

Missing My First Deadline, But Getting An Extension

Kate And Kids — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 20:12:51 +0000

The last time I wrote here, I was worrying what to do about dating and kids. I’m ashamed to say it, but things didn’t go as I had planned. After I wrote the blog, my youngest started crying. She was playing with the water faucet and accidentally burned her hand. By the time I returned downstairs, I was so flustered that I completely forgot about the message. And then this morning, I woke up to find a new message from my Match suitor…

Kate- hate to write under these circumstances. But I’ve been dragged into taking a coworker to Lincoln Park.

Oh no! I thought that was it. But then he kept writing.

I’d still like to go out sometime. Coffee? If we meet, I should tell you a few more things about myself. But I’d like to see you in person.

He does something in the legal industry. My son has a soccer game on Saturday, and my daughter will be spending it with a friend. I had planned on spending the day alone. But now, I might give it a try. First, I have to decide what to write back….

Tags: kids, match, soccer games

How Quickly Should I Bring Up the Kids?

Kate And Kids — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 19:43:09 +0000

Well- that was quick! I recently posted my Match profile and didn’t even fully fill it out when I received a message from a nice man. I was nervous. I looked around the room to see if anyone was watching. Then, I let my cursor hover over the link. Finally, I clicked to read what it said.

Hi Kate- Saw your profile. Would love to meet with you soon. I’m part of the Auxiliary Board at the Lincoln Park Zoo- would you want to come with me to this? http://www.lpzoo.org/events/leap.html. Sorry for the short notice.

Wow! I didn’t expect things to move that quickly. There’s only one problem. It isn’t him- he seems like a charming man who picked me for my proximity, similar taste in music, and matched personality. But there’s one problem. I didn’t emphasize enough that I have my two children- I’m not sure he knows! I know you’re supposed to create an honest profile- but I didn’t have time! So now I have to decide- do I tell him first? Or do I go on the date and wait it out. Once again, I find my cursor hovering over the link. Except this time I don’t know what I should do…

Tags: kids, lincoln park zoo, match

Introductions: Start Spreading the News!

Kate And Kids — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 22:00:39 +0000

Hi everyone! I hope you aren’t as exhausted as I am. This weekend I not only went to two soccer games, I also managed the oranges. For those of you who aren’t moms, the oranges are very important. And they aren’t for cocktails- they’re for kids. All the other parents love to critique your orange cutting skills and make sure their children are well fed. Needless to say, I spent at least forty hectic minutes cutting them up. I just smelled my hands- they still have orange on them!

Right now, my two children live outside of Chicago with me (their dad lives in Milwaukee). Sometimes it’s tough being a single mom (though my ex has done a great job). The toughest part is finding someone to spend time with. I’ve wanted a relationship for a while, but I thought that my children came first. Now I realize that one is as important as the other, so I’m diving back in. Are there a lot of citrus perfumes out these days? I could save some money!

I plan on using Match, but I’m going to be looking around a few different websites to find the best. Wish me luck on my search!

Tags: citrus, introductions, kids, match, oranges, soccer games

Introductions: I Have Come For Your Men

Ben Finds Men — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 21:37:52 +0000

I know I’m supposed to be doing my little introduction, but first can I just tell you something? I am sitting at this coffee shop (ok, “tea lounge“) and there’s a guy sitting next to me. He’s a surfer boy- long blonde hair, great shoulders, you know, the usual torture.

But every once in a while, I see him reach up and pick his ear. Is that ok? Why is nose-picking so bad, but all the straight boys think that they can dig in their ear without anybody noticing? So my name is Ben. If you want to know a little about me, then I’ll tell you. I’m single (duh!), dating, and nested in beautiful San Francisco (the city that never sleeps…wait, maybe I mixed those up). Anyway, I’m a gay black man, which is an endangered species similar to the bald eagle- rare, but when you see one, you’re just so damn proud!

I can find a boy on my own, but for now I’m trying online dating, usually with Singlesnet. But that’s the beautiful thing about me- I can diverse-ify- you might see me on Match, True, or anywhere where they’ll take a brother looking for an equally skinny-sexy-funny-etc type of guy.

Alright- that’s just to say hi. Later I’m going shopping (I know, it’s lame, but I’m poor). Tonight I’ll be hitting up a few sites to see if I can get started. Oh- and btw- the guy at the tea lounge just picked his ear and then LOOKED AT IT. If you need me, I’ll be in the bathroom barfing the chinese takeout I had for lunch.

Tags: ear picking is a sin, gay, introductions, match, singlesnet, tea lounge, true